Many successful business people discount the importance of language skills. They suggest there’s little need for correct spelling because we have spell-checkers, and that proper grammar isn't important in a world of text messages and e-mail. To them, all that matters is being able to get their point across, however clumsily. But the little daily failures that arise from ineffective use of language can end up costing you a ton of time and money—resources you can't afford to squander. And those failures also can make you sound incompetent to those who appreciate the subtleties of words. Language matters because the words, grammar, and sentences we speak create our reality. (In psycholinguistics, this idea is called linguistic determinism.)

Let’s examine three pronouns: I, you, and we. In themselves, they’re neutral in tone, but when, where, and how they’re used can have a significant effect on how you’re perceived. And others’ perceptions are critical to your business success.

However, when you’ve made a big, honking mistake and need to apologize for it, the word “I” can be invaluable. Several years ago, one of the people I supervised decided to take some initiative (without direction from me or notification to me), and unfortunately, he stepped in it big time. I didn’t know what he’d done until it was brought to my attention by the president of the company, to whom I was a direct report. “Bob will be up to see you in a few minutes to apologize in person,” I said to my boss, “but I need to own up to this, too. It happened on my watch, and I should have been supervising him more closely. We’re both sorry. This was embarrassing for you and it shouldn’t have happened.”

I accomplished two things with this tactic. First, I took personal responsibility, which was immediately disarming because it’s so rare in today’s business culture. Second, by quickly admitting my supervisory mistake, I forestalled what was sure to be the next question: “How could you have let this happen?” The air was already out of the balloon; the president’s annoyance rapidly abated. In fact, he grinned at me and said, “I guess you learned something.” I said I had. We parted amicably and I continued to enjoy his trust.

Of course, “you” works beautifully in positive contexts. You can’t do too much better than “I love you,” “You look fabulous,” or “You did an amazing job.”

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Gretchen Hirsch is a writer, editor, and educator. Her latest book, Talking Your Way to the Top, is a favorite among Ask The Headhunter readers, and she's the expert I turn to when I need to have my English adjusted. Gretchen's blog write better is a fun place to start learning how to communicate gracefully and with zing. Gretchen is also a professional book doctor and assists other writers with their own book projects. Gretchen may be reached at info@midwestbookdocs.com.